When I just started school, we had the option to get a hot soup for lunch on Mondays. Our teacher used this event in a sentence we all had to copy out, "On Mondays we have soup and bread".

One kid wrote "On Mondays we have soap and beard" and it was the funniest event ever. We laughed and laughed and that phrase still comes immediately to mind when I trim my beard or pick up some soap. I remember it clearly 40+ years later.

Also I cannot remember if I took my blood pressure pills an hour ago.

Went to put in my supermarket order tonight and there was only one open delivery slot left. Glad I decided to get it done instead of waiting until tomorrow.

"Oh no, I overslept and I'm running late for work" is a lot less dramatic when your commute is walking into another room and clicking a "Connect to VPN" button.

A few days ago I accidentally bit the inside of my right cheek which caused it to swell up a little and as a result I've bitten it two more times - enough to ensure it stays swollen and likely to get bitten again.

Human bodies are a fucking joke.

I want to make bread tonight, given that I have none, but Brian is doing the starter equivalent of pulling the doona over his head and ignoring me, despite two good feeds.

So I've chucked some regular yeast in the dough with him. Fuck you Brian. You have one job. #breadposting