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Bremen Saki

Probably not what you were looking for.

Rainbow Headcleaner

May 17, 2026 by Mike

A long, long time ago I had an idea for a silly joke. Exactly when it hard to pin down, but the seeds were planted in the mid 1990s, in a file called bands.txt. This was a collaborative list of random phrases uttered by people we knew, that had been taken out of context on the basis of “that would be a good name for a band”. Nikolai, the Keeper of the List, was diligent. Many, many lines were added to that list – and one of them set up shop in my head and lives there to this day, Twirly Jesus and the Rainbow Headcleaners.

surrealistic tattoo
Lasagna in a Bucket
Corn and Carrot
implied testicles
Twirly Jesus and the Rainbow Headcleaners
GreneGang
twitching schizoids
split flea soup
A small section of the classic bands.txt file

What you kids may not know is that in the days of audio cassettes there was a brand of tape head cleaner (tape players have “heads” that need … look just go watch some Techmoan videos until you catch up) marketed under the brand “Rainbow”. I don’t know who actually added that line to the file (probably Nikolai) but it gave me an idea. Wouldn’t it be funny, I thought, if you had an actual album on a tape called Rainbow Headcleaner and it looked just like the head cleaner tape. Imagine that!

What a random, silly idea that will surely be forgotten in a few days.

Suddenly, it was 30 years later …

It exists. I have held it in my hand. It contains all original music made by me over a period of many years. I obtained an old, real Rainbow branded head cleaner tape to use as reference for the cover art. There are liner notes and thanks.

The prototype (#0) copy of Rainbow Headcleaner, posed with a genuine Rainbow head cleaner.

There are five copies (as of May 2026). The original, #0, is my own copy, has a nice pink cassette shell, and the contents are subject to change without notice. Copies 1 through 4 have been sent out to various parties, for various reasons. They have lovely royal purple shells and an accompanying package of accessories and information which I will probably share at some point, but for now they are purely for the people who own them.

Can I have one?

Probably! The album itself is not quite finished yet. The initial prototypes were shared primarily to test that my recording process wasn’t insanely flawed. More on that to come, but let’s just say that some of the equipment I used was literally picked up from the side of the road.

Coming Soon!

If you’d like to be informed as soon as it’s more widely available, why not follow me on Patreon? I promise that even on a free membership tier, you will know when Rainbow Headcleaner is available to the masses.

I plan to release the full album electronically, and also physically on cassette, maybe CD, and some kind of branded USB drive. As tempting as a vinyl pressing would be, as a way to take things much too far, it’s not something I intend to do at this time.

Posted in: Features, Music Tagged: music, RainbowHeadcleaner
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