This post originally appeared on my Patreon page, has been reposted publicly here, and backdated to February 2026.
As the Rainbow Headcleaner project actually starts coming to a head, one thing I want to do is write a little bit about each track on the album as I finalise the version that’s going on the tape. I’m starting with the easiest one, Beaten Eggs. It’s the easiest to say “this is the final mix” about because I no longer have the source recordings or project files. I can’t do anything else with it.
This is pretty unusual for me, as I’m something of a data hoarder and I’ve got pretty much everything else from the era when I was doing this stuff originally. The circumstances around this track are very different to the others though, and I very nearly left it off the album entirely. I’ve included it mainly because I really kinda like it.
Let’s start with one major thing that’s unique to this track, the vocals. This track actually feature me singing, if you can call it that. The vocals are incredibly heavily processed and shifted down a couple of octaves to sound very growly and deep.
Here’s where some of the problems start that nearly consigned it to the B-Sides pile. First up, I don’t even know what all the lyrics are, or who wrote them.
This song happened when someone on a forum I frequented posted in a discussion something like “You call those death metal lyrics? This is what death metal lyrics would be like …” and then posted most or all of what Beaten Eggs would end up being.
I took to GarargeBand almost immediately, jammed some loops together into a bit of a grindy, Nine-Inch-Nails-esqe track, recorded the vocal track, tortured it all with various effects and filters, added some samples that apparently were on my drive and I no longer fully recognise, and posted it in the thread.
It didn’t make much of an impact at the time, I just filed it away in my Bremen Saki music folder and … here we are about two decades later.
The lyrics, what I can make out and remember, are:
Burned bashing warlock
Smashing teenage breast
Impaled deity chaos
Omelette made of eggs
Omelette made of eggs
?? punching ??
Smashing rocks ??
Failed ?? ??
Omelette made of eggs
Omelette made of eggsRepeat both verses
The “targeting” noise from EVE: Online is at the start and the voice in there might also be from that game but I can’t say for sure or even make out any words.
For people who have better ears than me, any interpretation of the second verse is welcome but as you might guess it’s not actually guaranteed to make any sense, it’s just a bunch of random crap.
If you remember writing this post or this thread, please tell me so I can give you the correct credit in the album liner notes!
So that’s the story of, and the final mix of, Beaten Eggs. Not sure which track will be locked in next or when – but I’ll see you then!